mydatingreality

when it stop’s being fun | August 17, 2011

Wednesday August 17th 2011 — and starts to feel like work 

I am driven by laughter. I LOVE to have fun and laugh, especially on a date.

I got a text from a NY Guy… he wanted to come for a visit. Correction-  he had to be in Chicago for work, so he asked if I would be up for him to plan a weekend trip to see me before his Monday morning meeting.

I was introduced to NY Guy almost 2 years ago. We met thru Safia, a mutual friend of ours, a friend close enough to be considered a sister to me. We had a great time when we met, and I regretted that we lived in different cities. I always thought the problem between NY Guy and I was distance. He is quite the package – an investment banker, tall, good-looking, a positive person, super chill and so much fun. He has the ability to make me feel like there is nobody else in the room- even when we are in a crowded place. He compliments me… he talks about things we will do in the future… he makes me feel like we have a future.

Here is the “but“: Before NY Guy arrived – I kept forgetting he was coming. I was excited… but didn’t have a single butterfly leading up to or during the entire weekend. He came… we went out with a bunch of my friends on Saturday night. We had a blast.

As much fun as we both have together, there was a lack-luster attitude between us. Like, we could see each other the next night…. or not. We in fact did have plans for a second night, but I texted him with an “out” and he took it. I was relieved.

Again, I love to have fun. I am always saying “I didn’t laugh enough with him”. NY Guy made me laugh… but I didn’t care to see him for a 2nd night in a row. I felt like it would not be fun… and would feel forced.

I am beginning to realize having a connection is what makes the fun last. The connection is what makes the fun take on different looks… helps the fun “mature”. Without the connection… even the most fun person can be a turn-off.