mydatingreality

Mr Nice Guy | August 15, 2011

Monday August 15th 2011 - Does he really finish last?  

Our “relationship” began with the perfect phone conversation. He was witty… very witty. We were both open and honest about what we are looking for… and who we are as people. He asked if I would like to have dinner.

Our 1st date was set for the same evening that my friend/co-worked Neela was hosting an after-work soiree at her amazing new Chicago condo. Instead of totally relaxing, and enjoying the views of lake Michigan from the balcony, I kept checking my phone, and waiting to be picked up for my 1st date with Mr Nice Guy.

1st impression – He is shorter than I imagined him

2nd impression – He was nervous

We pulled up to Rosebud in downtown Chicago, and I felt bad that he was springing for valet… but I was so happy he did it. Throughout dinner, I was in and out of interest – interest in the conversation, interest in him. He asked me to tell him anything I wanted about myself… and with that platform, I actually said something I had never said, admitted our actually believed before. It was a break-thru.

I admitted that I was very lonely in my last relationship. That I was madly in love with a man who I was always afraid to lose. He and I were perfect at home, or when we were alone… but we socialized very differently. We had different hobbies, and there weren’t too many interests we shared. I was finally able to say, as much as I loved my X… and as much as he had everything I was looking for in a man…. the one thing that I can’t live without in any future relationship, is the one thing we didn’t have. I want and need that connection.. that thing that keeps 2 people staring at each other, even when they are not looking at one another. The thing that no occupation or look can be more important than, the thing that make someone irreplaceable… it’s the connection. I did love my X, and I would have never, ever left him.. but he knew there was something missing for me… and he did the leaving, because he knew I never would.

My breakthrough that night definately impacted the amount I could focus on my date with Mr Nice Guy. He picked up the check, the valet, and my spirits… but I had no clue if I wanted to see him again. Typically, I can answer that question with a certain “yes” or “no”.

I had a 7am flight the next morning.. and in true “nice guy” fashion, Mr Nice Guy insisted on driving me to the airport. He said I would be doing him a favor.. because he had to pull an all-nighter for a work project he was working on.

It was my pleasure to finally get a ride to the airport… but, I felt horrible when my mind kept drifting away for our conversation at 5:30a on a Friday morning.

He is so nice. He is not unattractive. He is obviously the type of person that would take care of my needs. WHY can’t he keep my interest??? I want, so badly, for this search to be over – but, I cannot, and will not fabricate a connection just to get to the finish line.

I owe him a phone call.. he left the ball in my court. Mr Nice Guy may not finish last, but I don’t see him winning either.