Thursday June 2nd 2011 — a quote from Hydro
Tonight was it. My final attempt at digging for chemistry with Hydro. Going into the night, I felt anxious. This is the 1st time we were getting together after he read the blog.
I have a lot of respect for Hydro- he is one hell of a man! I could sit here and tell you what I liked and didn’t like about our date tonight… but I think we both know, that’s not the point. The point is, there we both were- trying.
That said… I HATE to admit this, but it’s just not there for me. Ever since I met him, I have wanted, soooo badly, to feel that connection, that chemistry… that something to be there. For us “to click”. I have wanted it so bad, that I have tried harder with him than I have yet in this entire process.
It just breaks my heart knowing he feels a connection, and I don’t. I NEVER wanted to hurt anyone… and I wish I could have said this to him directly tonight. But you know I am a communication coward… and this post is my way of letting him go.
Hydro: I am so sorry… I wish I could make myself feel that “thing” that I need to feel… because you are the kindest man I have met yet. I know the right woman is out there for you, and it’s not fair of me to waste anymore of your time.
You were in love once and still haven’t gotten over the disappointment that it didn’t work out. You’ve built all of these walls around you to prevent you from being hurt again and you aren’t letting anybody in. You’ve gotten so good at it, that now you can openly admit it to the internet without giving it a thought.
Tear down the wall!
Comment by streo777 — June 3, 2011 @ 6:21 am
I think you are being honest with yourself and that is commendable especially when so many women lie to themselves in order to be in a relationship. You are an amazing woman and when the time is right you will find someone who fits!
Comment by Andi Kaye — June 3, 2011 @ 1:40 pm