mydatingreality

communication | May 30, 2011

Monday May 30th 2011 — Memorial Day

Getting the email from Hydro was a shock to the system. If I’m being completely honest, it made me rethink the entire blog. Is it helping as much as it could potentially hurt? Will I lose the man of my dreams if he reads it? I am really doing this for the right reasons? What are my reasons?

Once I read the email from Hydro… I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. Of course, being the super nice person he is, he said “yes”. After we had a chance to talk about what he read about my experience on our dates, how it made him feel, why I felt what I felt, and his reasons for doing some of the things that made me question our connection to begin with… I felt like we broke new communication ground. I finally felt like he had the potential to understand me. I also got to explain to him, that my walls don’t typically come down unless and until I am actually having fun. We jumped right into some really deep topics… keeping my walls sky-high, and me looking for the nearest exit.

I found myself being grateful Hydro found mydatingreality. All of the sudden, I realized that writing it on the world-wide web must ultimately mean I am trying to be understood… and who better to seek understanding from than the people I am writing about. I know it would be easier to just tell people what I feel… but speaking words is not my forte, I tend to think and express thru the written word. I set out on this journey, knowing I could write how I feel, and needing guidance from people who may be able to identify with the relationship maze I am stumbling thru as I search for that one partner.

Now, I am even more scared to do this blog… I am simply afraid that I will push the right one away. That said, I am even more committed to do this blog… as it is proving to be the place I let it all out. And if it does scare someone away… they are not the right person for me.

Hydro is still in the picture… and now we actually have a picture to be in