mydatingreality
something to think about… | April 30, 2011
Saturday April 30th 2011 — he doesn’t want to be a father
How old do you have to be to give up on the opportunity to have children? Does wanting to be a “mom” ever fade?
For as long as I can remember, I have LOVED kids. All ages. I love getting a hug from a child… it is so innocent and honest. I love the satisfaction you feel after feeding a baby. I love reading to kids, and watching them make sense of what they see on a page in a book, or in the world.
reading to my amazing niece
I have always wanted to be a mother. Correction, I have always wanted a family of my own… a family that includes a husband I am crazy about and children we raise together.
As I have grown older, I have accepted life will not look like I originally thought it would. It’s not meant to.. when I dreamt up that life I was inexperienced in the world. So.. I am not planning to live the life I once dreamt about. But, how much “change in plan” should I accept, and when is enough change enough?
My Homie does not want to be a father. It breaks my heart that I have finally sparked a feeling in the right direction with a person that feels the same about me… but, it seems he is only willing to stick around as long as I don’t “expect” him to change his position on fatherhood.
I don’t know how I feel about it…. he has definitely given me something to think about.
2 Comments »
No likey. Next…
Comment by Beth — April 30, 2011 @ 8:30 pm
Uh…run in the opposite direction!
If this is something that is important to you, then there is nothing to think about with this guy. Please do not settle. Also, it’s common for women nowadays to safely have kids in their early 40s, so do not worry, you still have time.
I may be misreading this post a bit, but it seems as though you are potentially resigned to not having the things that you want in life for yourself. Also, if he truly understands what it is you want in life, and is not willing to give it to you, then what else may he withhold in a marriage?
Also, I want you to consider that maybe – just maybe – “Homie” seems to “fit” because he harkens back to a time in your life when things were much more familiar and less…urgent? Is there something appealing to you that maybe “Homie” has some pre-acceptance built-in by your family that you feel you don’t have to struggle with perhaps? I’m just throwing these out there as guideposts to help you along…I could totally be wrong here, but it’s something to consider.
Finally, I didn’t want to say it before because it seems as though you needed some positive encouragement earlier (apparently I forgot to hit the “Post Comment” button earlier yesterday morning), but “Homie” doesn’t exactly seem like he’s got his shit together! I don’t know how the baggage timeline worked out, but at least two girls at one time? That’s a load of bullshit if I’ve ever heard of one, given the types of cultural backgrounds we are dealing with. How do you know that you aren’t simply “Girl #4″ thrown into the mix to somehow give his ego a little boost in his mid-thirties??
Comment by Streo777 — May 1, 2011 @ 1:07 am